Open RP Post

[devilofaboy]

🖤 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🖤 General squick/trigger list.
🖤 m/m for anything shippy.
🖤 General headcanon for Ronan. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🖤 Ronan's kink list.
🖤 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!

Comments

love and light;

[silkensupra]

[Jiang gives Ronan a box, not much bigger than a photograph, just before he leaves. He tells him to open it later, when he's alone, because it's special. He kisses him, loving and adoring and like he could kiss him for hours. But eventually he pulls away, brushes a touch of his lips against his cheek and his temple. And then he's getting into his Supra and driving back to the dorms.

The box is wrapped in black chromatic paper that turns into rainbows as you shift it in the light. There are a half dozen black and white photographs, Ronan the focus of them all. But it's Ronan through Jiang's eyes: dangerous but loyal, wicked and sharp, unbearably sexy, soft hearted and kind, just happy--

And then the last one was in color. Ronan in the sun's light, a sliver of shadow on the edge of his face- his smile unself-conscious and pleased. He was leaning against the BMW as sunrise turned into a late spring morning, car stopped by a roadside that left whether they'd continue to school or blow it off entirely a question that felt unanswered even if memory knew the truth. But it's the sort of photo that demonstrates the difference between taking a picture and something more. Because the picture is somehow more true than memory. The edges softer, the colors brighter, and the picture feels: it yearns, it loves, its focus undeniably on the boy that it captures. There's a truth in the pictures, but it's in the feelings.

Under the photographs is a leather bracelet, the sort that would blend in with the others that Ronan wore, almost indistinguishable. But it was printed with the words amor est lux; love is light. There's a small note folded inside the bracelet that says just: I thought it might be easier for you like this. I hope it's less awkward than flowers. He signed it with his name, and a small heart. He doesn't ask the question in words, he leaves it there in between everything else.]

[devilofaboy]

[Ronan did, indeed, wait until he was alone to open the box. The pictures were touching--he had the distinct feeling that Jiang was trying to tell him something with them. That feeling grew when he discovered the bracelet under the photos. He turned it over in his hands and his chest seized when he saw what was printed on it.

What was the opposite of a heart attack? It had the same sort of feeling and yet- he felt charged, energized. Terrified, but alive. He read the little note and- he paced his room, then he paced some more. He understood why Jiang had told him to wait, and he also thought he understood the way the other boy had kissed him before he'd left.

Should he call? Was this a thing suitable to talk about over text? He couldn't just wait until the next time he saw Jiang; that would feel cruel, and though cruel was practically Ronan's middle name, he didn't want to hurt Jiang. He didn't want him to think that Ronan wasn't-

Head over heels in love. That's what this was, wasn't it? He appreciated that he had time to process his feelings and that he hadn't been put on the spot, though he wouldn't have blamed Jiang for wanting to talk about this, either.]

are you busy?
can i call?

[silkensupra]

i'm not busy
you can totally call

[Jiang usually responds to Ronan's texts fairly promptly, he has a special ringtone set so that he always knows when it's him and not the pack groupchat or someone asking him about the homework in trig or something else he didn't care about as much. But this came fast enough that it wouldn't be out of question to think that he'd been waiting, or that he at least had his phone in his hand.

Because while he was being patient, trying to give Ronan time and space to work through his feelings -- he couldn't help the way that his heart raced, twisted in his chest, like it might bloody itself against his ribcage. He loved him, and he wanted... he wanted this, he wanted to love him and hold his hand, and see that smile. He wanted a life where there was space in it for each other.]

i do like hearing your voice

[Especially in this situation, though he didn't add that part, figured that Ronan would know what he meant. That he was hopeful and uncertain and had so many emotions tied up in his chest that he wanted to hear the answer.]

[devilofaboy]

[He liked hearing Jiang's voice, too, especially if they were going to be talking about this. He hesitated for a few moments, then told himself he wasn't a coward and they wouldn't even be talking about a bad thing--though really, sometimes bad things were easier to talk about--and called Jiang.]

Hey.

[He sounded flushed, a little breathless, like he'd just gone for a jog instead of pacing in his room.]

I- you know I appreciate you, right?

[He was trying to say thank you, because the pictures and bracelet were very thoughtful, first before everything else. But more than that- if he didn't say something besides 'hey', he might chicken out.]

And I know I'm not very good at this shit, but you're giving me a chance anyway, and I- it means a lot to me.

[silkensupra]

[Jiang couldn't help smiling, almost grinning to himself just at the sound of Ronan's voice, and the way that he sounded. Flushed, out of breath, which he considered to be a good thing, probably. He didn't sound upset, at least, which had been the worry with a gesture like this. That it would be too much, and he'd feel trapped, and it would make his edges even sharper.

So there was a sort of relief even before Ronan said I appreciate you.]

I know. And I.. I appreciate you, too. I think you're worth something, no matter what other people say. And I just-- I wanted to tell you.

[He was flushed too, now. Jiang was not usually a boy prone to tripping on his words, but this was different. This was saying you're important to me and I think that I love you, but even for Jiang the words themselves felt both too big and not big enough. So: the gifts.]

You're worth it. I wanna date you. I mean, if that wasn't obvious.

[He laughs a little bit, self-conscious, but also he just wanted this. And he wanted Ronan to know that he was wanted, that someone was willing to give him the chance and trust that it could mean something. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he thought the other boy was worth the effort.]

[devilofaboy]

[I think you're worth something.

You're worth it.

Ronan felt flustered but also pleased. A boy like Jiang thought he was worth it, and not just that--he wanted to date him. It was good to hear it in so many words, even if Ronan had figured it out earlier. There was no way a gift like this wasn't full of romantic intent. And speaking of that--it was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him.

Maybe it was a good thing this was happening over the phone; that way, no one would see Ronan's unabashed smile, almost giddy. Though, he also thought Jiang would have appreciated it.]

I want to date you, too. I want-

[He wanted so much he felt greedy and selfish. But maybe it was normal when it came to relationships--wanting a lot, that was, not feeling greedy.]

I want you. You matter to me. You're special.

[silkensupra]

[Fuck, but Jiang felt almost overwhelmed. There was so much that he wanted to say, so much that he wanted with Ronan. It was part of why he wanted to date him, honestly, because then he felt like it would be okay if he was a little selfish and a little greedy. He was allowed to want to wrap Ronan around him and hold onto him, to kiss him and love him and give him everything that he had to offer.

Hearing Ronan say that he wanted him, that he thought Jiang was special, it was perfect. Everything he could have hoped for when he'd first started planning out this idea. How did he say I love you without scaring Ronan, or losing his nerve? He let something else say it for him.]

I-- Fuck, Ronan. What are you doing? Do you wanna go for a drive?

[Because hearing his voice was good, but of course, he wanted more. He wanted to see his face- his boyfriend's face- and say all of this looking him in the eyes. He wanted to sit in the BMW and hold hands and have his first kiss, and just... He wanted to spend time with him. He had homework, but this seemed more important.]

You matter to me too. I think you're amazing.

[devilofaboy]

[He was doing nothing, honestly, but even if he had been in the middle of something he would have gladly dropped it in a heartbeat to go for a drive with Jiang. He felt- it was hard to put into words. He was a little overwhelmed but in a good way, like the room had just tilted a bit but it was all right because his heart was beating so fast and he couldn't stop smiling and-]

Yeah, I do. I want to go for a drive with you.

[And it was easy, for a change, saying that he wanted something. He didn't know what the difference was right now between all the times he struggled with feeling okay to want things, but he wasn't going to complain.

Jiang said he thought he was amazing and Ronan's cheeks flushed. He could argue about that, sure, but- someone genuinely thought he was amazing. He wanted to hold onto that sentiment, frame it and hang it on his wall. He wanted to kiss Jiang and hold him and- what did he say to that? What did he say to 'I think you're amazing'?]

You're better. You're- [He made a frustrated noise, aimed at himself, because words were fucking hard and sometimes he hated that he had to use them to communicate.] -you're like a dream.