Open RP Post

[devilofaboy]

🖤 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🖤 General squick/trigger list.
🖤 m/m for anything shippy.
🖤 General headcanon for Ronan. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🖤 Ronan's kink list.
🖤 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!

Comments

[richspoiledrotten]

[The words Ronan says have Elijah's world spinning, turned on its edge for reasons that have nothing to do with alcohol. He looks at him, quiet for a long moment as he tries to sort through his thoughts, his feelings. It makes sense, in a certain strange, fucked up way. Elijah's always drawn to people with magic in their veins, one way or another. And maybe his pool of reference for people that deal with dreams is very small, but it still seems to hold that Dreamers are more sharp edges than the rest of the world.

Reality always too much or not enough.

And fuck but his heart aches for Ronan, because it's different from Dimitri, but similar enough and he wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. He tries to focus on the dreaming, because that isn't so raw, doesn't make him want to fucking cry, and he loathes crying, especially where anyone can see. It makes him feel.. weak, and soft and ugly in the worst sort of ways.]

Sort of. I don't do it right, I guess -- at least according to Dimitri.

[He drags a hand down his arm, slow enough to let his thumb linger on each of his tattoos.]

These are all dreams. At first... well, when I was a kid, the first thing I really, truly wanted to bring out of my dreams was myself. But I could never pull that off. Instead I found that I could- I sort of...

[He trails off with an exhale, snagging the bottle and pouring the vodka as a way to buy himself time to figure out how to explain it. He drinks it empty, tilting his head back as he tries to find a way to explain it, toying with the glass in his fingertips. There's a hint there of something he doesn't quite say, but he looks away, dragging a hand through his hair.]

I pull them from my dreams on my body. But I keep them as concepts. As dreams. Doing what I did then is just ... turning that dream into something physical. But I don't always know what that is until afterwards. In order to hold a dream so I always know what thing it is, I have to make it- part of my identity, who I am. And that's apparently bad.

[He sighs in frustration, lips pressing into a thin line as the loss and the feeling that he should have done more feels almost inescapable. Emotions welling up from the hole in his chest.]

He said it was dangerous. He said it was making a bridge and not asking who you let across.

[devilofaboy]

[Every tattoo, a dream. Keeping dreams as concepts, things on your own body-- that sounded-- it made his head hurt a little thinking about it. He couldn't imagine doing that with his own dreams. It sounded dangerous and like it had so much potential for things to go wrong. His dreams were already dangerous enough, even without the night horrors around trying to kill him.]

It sounds self-destructive.

[There was a risk to others too, he guessed, but more than anything it sounded most dangerous to Elijah.

It sounded like it worked vastly differently than Ronan's dreaming. He couldn't begin to understand it enough to help. But- he felt the desire to help. He'd probably be bad at it, anyway. He didn't think he was cut out to be a hero or mentor. He couldn't even stop one boy from dying.]

Did he understand all of this stuff?

[It hurt to talk about someone in the past tense, even if he hadn't been especially close to Dimitri. He knew what it was like to lose people you cared about. It was eating him alive.]