Open RP Post

[devilofaboy]

🖤 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🖤 General squick/trigger list.
🖤 m/m for anything shippy.
🖤 General headcanon for Ronan. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🖤 Ronan's kink list.
🖤 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!

Comments

[dreamforger]

[To be fair, Kavinsky put a lot of effort into seeming like an asshole. It was easier- safer- meant that most people never got close enough that they could hurt him. The people that he trusted were his handful of friends, and now Ronan. He wanted to let him close, let him get to know him- really know him- softness and sweetness and vulnerabilities. He just hoped that Ronan wanted these things, too.

But Kavinsky had always been reckless. And what was more reckless than loving someone?

Ronan cups the side of his face and kisses him, and Kavinsky leans into the contact, feels like he melts into him. It was all he'd really wanted- for Ronan to say it was enough- but no, it was more just that all he wanted was this boy. Ronan Ronan Ronan his name like the beat of his heart. He kisses him back, and smiles when they part. He reaches up just to slide his fingers against the stubble of his skull. God, he wanted him.]

I haven't either. But you're-- it's different with you.

[He needed Ronan, wanted him in his life, wanted him at his side, wanted to give him everything that Kavinsky had to offer. There'd never been anyone before Ronan that had seemed worth it, made him feel like he could have something real and not just a few passing hookups. Which was why Kavinsky was more or less keeping his hands to himself so far. Not because he thought Ronan wearing clothes was less of a crime than usual, but he wanted-- he wanted to be sure Ronan saw that his interest was more than that, too.

He wanted his hands on him, wanted the way they burned and fit together and came apart- but he wanted to lay his head on his chest and listen to his heart beat, and he wanted his arms around him and he wanted him there in the morning. He wanted to believe that his life could have Ronan in it, that they could have a future, something more real than most people thought Kavinsky was made for.]

[devilofaboy]

[There was only a small part of him that worried Kavinsky only wanted him for his body, but it was mostly overshadowed by his knowledge of everything else. Especially this, the way K touched him, the way he looked at him. The other boy didn't have to romance him; Ronan would fall into bed with him pretty easily. Except it wasn't casual and Ronan wasn't easy. He had sex with Kavinsky because he cared about him, wanted him. His feelings for Kavinsky were a wildfire, barely contained, waiting for any stray spark to make it an uncontrollable inferno.]

Tell me about it?

[It wasn't for his own ego--he wanted to know how things were different, how Kavinsky really felt about him. Maybe it was a little unfair to ask when Ronan himself hadn't yet had the courage to even ask K to be his boyfriend when it was pretty clear that was what he wanted. There was a little worry in the back of his mind, the voice that said what if I'm wrong, what if I'm reading into things too much.

But maybe if Kavinsky started things...Ronan would be able to speak up, too. K usually didn't seem to have trouble speaking his mind, after all. Ronan would have envied him for his confidence and shit if he hadn't known how shitty Kavinsky's life could be. He wanted to make it better for him, improve his life, make him happy. Because Kavinsky made him happy, and the other boy deserved good things.]

[dreamforger]

[His attraction to Ronan had never really been casual. Maybe in those first days when it had just been because he was gorgeous and dangerous and had a smile like a threat. But he'd been fucked as soon as he'd gotten to know him, realized he was even more tantalizing under the surface. He hadn't been able to help falling for him, even back when he thought he hadn't had a chance. And then he'd invited him to one of his parties, and Ronan had shown up, and they'd raced, and he'd smiled, and Kavinsky had thought to himself maybe.

At the question, Kavinsky grins a little bit sheepishly. He's been avoiding that exact thing, even if in his heart he wanted to, he wanted to tell Ronan how special he was. But it seemed like it should be okay if he'd asked for it; or that was what Kavinsky told himself, at least. He gently cupped his hand against Ronan's face, gently squeezing their laced fingers, looking at him with helpless affection as he smiled softly.]

I just.. I never wanted to date someone until I met you. I can't see anyone else when you're around. You're fucking magnetic, and I want- you know. All the sappy stupid shit. And I want you to know me. Secrets and all. More than just the asshole racer, forger, drug addict. I want you for real- to wake up next to you and see you smile.

[It's inelegant and earnest, handing Ronan his heart and trusting that Ronan wants to keep it. But he tries to say the thing that he thinks is important, about the fact that he does want Ronan. More than just the sex and the racing and the parties, he wants this too: laced fingers and sweet kisses and dancing in the kitchen and laughter. So happy his heart ached for the beautiful boy in his arms. He leaned in, letting his hand slide down Ronan's body, curling lightly around his waist. His heart raced in his chest, erratic with the thrill of saying it outloud:

I want to date you.]

[devilofaboy]

[There it was, out loud. His brain stuck on I never wanted to date someone until I met you for a moment before catching up with the rest in a hurry, trying to commit every word to memory. God, but he wanted this boy. He wanted him in every way.

His heart was racing and he felt like his hands were trembling, but he wasn't quite sure if he was expecting them to or if they really were. Knowing what he wanted, feeling like he was allowed to have it, was a difficult thing for him. But he knew what he wanted right now, he just- was he allowed to have it? Did he deserve Kavinsky? Did Kavinsky deserve him? Which wasn't- it wasn't that Ronan thought that highly of himself, it was more along the lines of 'did K deserve someone better?'. The answer was probably, but Ronan felt greedy. He wanted Kavinsky all to himself.]

Fuck it. [He said on an exhale, in a rush, before he lost his nerve, and continued,] Let's date. I can't think of anyone but you most of the time. You- [He stumbled over his words for a moment.] -you remind me what it's like to be happy.

[Sometimes, Ronan felt like the only reason his heart still beat was to see Kavinsky, to race, to go to one of his parties, to kiss him and hold him. Sometimes, he didn't feel like he had a lot to live for, but there was always K. K made things better.

Ronan couldn't imagine a life where he let Kavinsky slip through his fingers.

He wanted to know him, too. His secrets and everything else. He wanted to wake up next to him in the morning and know they had something real.]