Open RP Post

[devilofaboy]

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🖤 General squick/trigger list.
🖤 m/m for anything shippy.
🖤 General headcanon for Ronan. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🖤 Ronan's kink list.
🖤 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!

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[dreamforger]

[Kavinsky doesn't flinch when Ronan presses fingers to his chest. He leans into the contact, just a little, like it's almost reassuring. He lets his fingers stroke softly against Ronan's cheek, quiet for a moment. He's trying to work out what to say.

He could pull away, but he thinks that he'd hate himself forever for being so much of a coward. Instead, he smiles at Ronan a little bit sweetly, longing and desire and the complicated tangle of his emotions.]

You've never been a game to me, Ro.

[Then he takes a breath and says the scariest words he thinks he's ever contemplated- but leaving this up to Ronan had been a pretty dubious choice in the first place. But it had been easier, had saved him from having to be vulnerable]

You're all I want. I just didn't know what we were doing- if you wanted to date me, or if I was just your secret lover. But look, I didn't want to hurt you.

[He wants to say so much than than that, but he doesn't, because he wants to give Ronan space to talk too. He wants to know what he wants, if he's alone in this, if Ronan doesn't want to date him but doesn't want him to date anyone else.

Though Ronan having punched a kid in the face, it probably wouldn't take long for rumors to come to that decision on their own. But Kavinsky didn't give a fuck, or he wouldn't be standing here soft as anything, tracing over the line of his cheekbone, breathing under the press of his hands.

Ronan was the only part of this equation that he gave a shit about.]

[devilofaboy]

[A portion of Ronan's anger deflated. Whatever he'd been expecting Kavinsky to say--and he'd had a lot of expectations, none of them pleasant--this wasn't it. He'd sort of thought that Kavinsky would laugh at him because obviously, this was a game to him. But he didn't. And he was still touching Ronan's face, so soft and sweet, and Ronan wanted to punch something. Again.

He wasn't angry at Kavinsky, not anymore. Maybe he never had been. Maybe he'd been upset with himself. Upset because he'd been too chickenshit to talk about what it was they were doing. He'd just quietly accepted it and tried not to question it too much, waited for when the other shoe would drop. He didn't want to have to keep Kavinsky a secret. He'd started out that way, a secret Ronan hadn't even admitted to himself, but he deserved better. Ronan wanted to be better, for him.

His next breath was shaky and he ducked until he could lean his forehead on Kavinsky's shoulder. He didn't think the other boy was lying. He wanted him. He cared about him. Ronan ached for him, desperately. Not just sexually, though the sex was always mindblowing, but- chastely. Sweetly. He wanted Kavinsky in the sort of way where he imagined waking up next to him in the morning, if Ronan's dreams could be trusted not to fuck things up. He was so good at fucking things up.]

Fuck, K- I thought-

[Lifting his head, he kissed Kavinsky, letting it linger for a long moment because it felt better than trying to put shit into words. The answer should have been easy. For once in his fucking life, he knew what he wanted. It was such a startling clarity that of course, he was already afraid to lose it.

After they parted from the kiss, he took a deep breath to try and steady himself. His next words were terse but honest, almost like he was being threatened to speak them. In a way, he was; if he didn't say something, he could lose this.]

I want to date you.

[How long had he wanted Kavinsky? How many days, weeks, months? Since before the sex had started, since they'd started racing. Maybe even before that. There'd always been something magnetic about the other boy, but Ronan had never quite decided if he was a sun or a black hole. It was impossible to escape his pull, but Ronan didn't want to. Not even Gansey could stop him from making this decision. He was choosing Kavinsky and that was that.]

I don't want to keep you a secret.

[dreamforger]

[Ronan pressed his forehead to Kavinsky's shoulder, and he didn't comment on it, he just leaned in a little so that he could try and offer some sort of comfort through the proximity. And then Ronan kisses him, not quite finishing his words, but he doesn't really need to, because Kavinsky understands. He knows what he's like, the rumors, what people say about him. He knows that he hooks up with people and for those that don't understand the sort of creature he is, he leaves broken hearts in his wake.

So he doesn't blame Ronan for having doubts, for having thought the worst. The important part, from where Kavinsky was standing, was that Ronan seemed willing to trust him over those assumptions. That he could be honest and that Ronan would listen. And that was worth more than gold.]

I want to date you too. I just didn't want to ask and fuck up what we had.

[There's a slight pause and he leans in, nuzzling into the side of Ronan's throat with a slight brush of his mouth. His heart is racing, and he can't help smiling just at the fact that they're both standing here with the same words on their mouth. He cups Ronan's face in his hands, sweet and a little intimate as he looks up into his eyes.]

And if you don't want me to flirt with other boys I wont. Because you're the only one I want. I've never dated someone before, but I want to, and I don't wanna make you jealous. I just-- I wanna hold your hand. I wanna say I'm your boyfriend, Ro.

[That's an endearment he hadn't used before this conversation, not Lynch or a pretty piece of sarcasm, but just the way that it rolled off his name soft. But he can't help leaning up to steal another kiss, because it is easier than the words. It's also easier to kiss him in the space after, to take some edge away from that sharp anticipation. The nerves that come with waiting to hear his reply. He's earnest, giving as much of himself as he knows how, just for Ronan.]

[devilofaboy]

[Maybe Ronan should've picked up on something about this sooner, but picking up on things wasn't really his strong suit most of the time. But the fact still stood that Kavinsky had never done anything to hurt him over all the weeks they'd been fooling around. Fuck, but Ronan hadn't even heard about him sleeping with anyone else, now that he thought about it.

He didn't ask why talking about dating would've fucked up what they had; he could understand the potential for disaster there. But Ronan didn't do anything casually, especially not sex. When he gave himself to someone, he gave all of himself, every piece. And he wanted- he wanted to trust Kavinsky with his heart. Thief that he was, he'd already stolen it.

His breath caught when Kavinsky nuzzled his neck, and his skin flushed when he took Ronan's face in his hands. It was softer than they usually were but that just made Ronan want it even more. Want him. That wasn't the entire reason why he'd flushed, though-]

You were my first kiss.

[Which felt vulnerable to admit, but how else could he say he'd never dated anyone before, either? He wasn't going to know what he was doing but he was going to give it his all.

He lifted his other hand, the one not on Kavinsky's chest, and cupped the side of his face. Words might not have been one of his strong suits either when it came to anything that wasn't spitting venom, but he was trying, he really was.]

Fuck, let's be boyfriends.

[They'd already felt like boyfriends before, in a way. Halfway boyfriends. But now, the chance to make it official, to stop having to sneak around- it filled Ronan with a warm feeling.]

You've already put up with me this long, after all.

[It was an attempt at some lighthearted humor because somehow he had a feeling Kavinsky had been doing a lot more than just putting up with him.]

[dreamforger]

[Kavinsky wanted to hold Ronan's heart in both hands, he wanted to care for it tenderly, he wanted to offer his own in exchange-- because he wasn't the only thief here. They were both sharp boys with soft hearts, and he'd tried to be as careful of that fact as he knew how. He hadn't slept around, not once he'd realized that having Ronan was an option, a possibility. Maybe he would have, if Ronan hadn't shown to the party, but the truth was Kavinsky would probably have still been obsessing over that blowjob in the gravel, over his fingers on his neck.

He was almost breathless, when Ronan said that he'd been his first kiss. He'd known, of course, that he was inexperienced, but he'd thought-- he'd been wrong, was the point. And he gets what he's saying with that, of course, but there's such vulnerability to it that Kavinsky can't help but offer something back. And it's not the same of course, but Ronan knew that from the beginning.]

You're the only person I really-- you know, the kinky shit, like when you choked me. I don't do that with anyone else. I mean, I figured it out scuffling with Skov, but we're not like that. I never did it for real. Just with you.

[Which was maybe a spectacularly fucked up way to tell someone they were special, but Ronan was. And he was also the only person whose fingers he wanted around his neck, that he wanted leaving bruises in his skin. Because he trusted him, and he thought that Ronan understood him in ways no one else did. And he liked how it felt, how softly Ronan touched him and how Kavinsky felt like he could be soft for him.

He tilts into Ronan's hand and the way that he cups his face, and he smiles when Ronan says it. It makes his heart skip to hear it, to think it. That they were dating, that Ronan Lynch was his boyfriend. And he wasn't dreaming, he was here, awake, and for once the world felt like someplace he wanted to exist in.]

Mm. Luckily, you happen to make it worth it.

[Teasing lightly in return, but mostly he was just happy. Not having to sneak around, feeling like a secret he hid in his closet, being able to say it outloud. He knows he's a mess, but fuck he wants to try, he wants to be good at this for him.]

Do you wanna come over to my place?

[He says it before he can even think about it, just looking at Ronan, into those blue eyes. He'd been supposed to hang out with Swan and Skov, but he was pretty sure they'd understand, even if Skov would probably look tragically wounded about it for a few minutes the next time they met up. But he just wanted... he didn't know. To make an offer that was different. That was just the two of them, with no parties or pretenses, just... inviting him over because Ronan was his boyfriend and he was allowed to do it.]

[devilofaboy]

[Did that mean Kavinsky trusted him? Or just liked him that much? He wasn't sure if he should ask- or what he'd say if he did. He knew he, personally, wouldn't trust just anyone with that sort of thing, so- he had to assume it was the same for Kavinsky. Which made Ronan feel- warm. Proud, maybe. Unsure if he should be the one trusted with that sort of thing but he also knew he wouldn't do anything to actually hurt Kavinsky. Not like that. They might fight sometimes but that was different.]

I always thought-

[It didn't matter what he'd thought, did it? He'd been wrong. The rumors about Kavinsky were wrong, in some regards. He wasn't a master of kink, an encyclopedia of filth. He was...just a boy, in some ways. A boy who had Ronan wrapped around his finger.

He took a breath, tracing his fingers against the other dreamer's cheek, soft and careful. There'd been a time when he'd thought Kavinsky only brought out the worst in him. Now he thought he brought out the best in him, too. Or...something like the best. He wasn't sure what his best looked like, most of the time.

Kavinsky said he was worth it and Ronan couldn't help but smile. K made putting up with him worth it, too. No matter how many times he got on Ronan's nerves. Ronan's affection for him was stronger than any annoyance.]

Yeah.

[He leaned in, kissing Kavinsky- because he could, because they were boyfriends now. Ronan had a boyfriend. It was hard to imagine someone wanting him that much but easier to think about when it was Kavinsky.]