[Would he ever refuse Ronan? Just seeing him again- it prompts all sorts of complicated feelings, things he knows he should say, but still doesn't have the words for. Not when Ronan's rejection still feels hot and raw, the memory of the way it felt like the whole world fell away without him in his life, by his side. He winces a little bit when Ronan says that Proko had told him what happened, though.
Kavinsky had... he didn't fucking know. He thought that he could keep it quiet, he guesses. He was erratic and temperamental, it's not like he couldn't have shrugged off going missing for two weeks. Or so he had thought. Proko telling Ronan about it doesn't sound pretty, but well- Ronan's alive and doesn't look particularly worse for wear. Nothing worse than he's had before, anyway.]
Fuck.
[It's all he can manage to say but he steps out of the way, kicking the door so it yawns open wide- clearly an invitation for Ronan to come inside. He'll talk about it, but he isn't going to do it on the fucking sidewalk. He doesn't know how he feels about him now. He wants to put his hands around his neck, he wants to worship every inch of his skin, he just-- he wants Ronan Lynch. Complicated, and maybe still a little bit destructive, but there all the same.
He can't help the fact that his heart twists just at the thought that he's here, that he gave a shit.
It wasn't like he'd learned some great life lessons or anything. Mostly it had just been getting through the drugs, and getting him to where he didn't want to jump off a fucking cliff every time his eyes were open. And he was- he was doing better anyway. He needed the company more often than not, and he promised his boys that he'd ask for it. Although it wasn't like they left him alone much at the moment anyway.
He'd thought that after Ronan's rejection, that he could just- that he could convince himself he didn't need him. But he wants his arms around him the same as he ever has. He drags a hand through his hair, shaking his head as he curses under his breath.]
no subject
[Would he ever refuse Ronan? Just seeing him again- it prompts all sorts of complicated feelings, things he knows he should say, but still doesn't have the words for. Not when Ronan's rejection still feels hot and raw, the memory of the way it felt like the whole world fell away without him in his life, by his side. He winces a little bit when Ronan says that Proko had told him what happened, though.
Kavinsky had... he didn't fucking know. He thought that he could keep it quiet, he guesses. He was erratic and temperamental, it's not like he couldn't have shrugged off going missing for two weeks. Or so he had thought. Proko telling Ronan about it doesn't sound pretty, but well- Ronan's alive and doesn't look particularly worse for wear. Nothing worse than he's had before, anyway.]
Fuck.
[It's all he can manage to say but he steps out of the way, kicking the door so it yawns open wide- clearly an invitation for Ronan to come inside. He'll talk about it, but he isn't going to do it on the fucking sidewalk. He doesn't know how he feels about him now. He wants to put his hands around his neck, he wants to worship every inch of his skin, he just-- he wants Ronan Lynch. Complicated, and maybe still a little bit destructive, but there all the same.
He can't help the fact that his heart twists just at the thought that he's here, that he gave a shit.
It wasn't like he'd learned some great life lessons or anything. Mostly it had just been getting through the drugs, and getting him to where he didn't want to jump off a fucking cliff every time his eyes were open. And he was- he was doing better anyway. He needed the company more often than not, and he promised his boys that he'd ask for it. Although it wasn't like they left him alone much at the moment anyway.
He'd thought that after Ronan's rejection, that he could just- that he could convince himself he didn't need him. But he wants his arms around him the same as he ever has. He drags a hand through his hair, shaking his head as he curses under his breath.]
C'mon.